So I went to get my haircut today.
Fair enough that in itself is not unusual, people are always getting their haircut every day, but whenever I get my haircut I tend to feel at my most vulnerable.
After forcing myself out of bed to get a shower before going (why do people do that? I was just about to get it washed anyway - it's like when my Mum used to clean the house top to bottom in preparation for the Cleaner coming round!) I then took the short walk to the Salon (not barbers - beauty isn't cheap) and got there supporting the after-shock of a massive hangover - dry-mouthed and very lethargic.
These white clean salons are very intimidating for a young man such as myself at the best of times let alone when not fully conscious.
For a start all the women are hot with big boobies, and as usual I got the stylist with the biggest boobies - not complaining too much but there is those moments when she leans in and you have no idea where to put your eyes or when she is side on and gets close and they brush your ear.....
Also the place I go to gives you a head massage before washing your hair. What is the etiquet here? If you close your eyes while some young girl runs her fingers through your hair does that mean you're a pervert? Same with the washing - I close my eyes when getting it washed coz I hate getting water in my eyes - I often wonder if the girl is thinking "what a little creep - getting his rocks off from this".
Then there is the "What are you after today?" Turns out replying "Haircut please" just leads to more questions. The poor girl just threw questions at me about my styling preferences - all of which I just answered yes to. And the small talk during the cut - I hate it....
In summary I left the salon with what I assume is a "trendy" haircut and £30 lighter.