Tuesday, 8 September 2009

10 Things I hate about all of you.

Right, it's been far too cheerful recently over here on My So Called Life.
I now plan to rectify that instantly over this next post.

To do this I am going to list 10 things I hate.....generally involving the the general public but not exclusive to any one group.

1. Retarded Walkers

I tend to walk quite fast, not because I'm always in a hurry to get somewhere which in itself causes a problem when I'm walking down a busy street. I especially hate it when people cut in front of you then proceed to walk at a slower pace than you. Another hate is when people walk out of shops into on-coming people then just feeze, as you then have to dodge to avoid them. Also girls who walk side by side in groups of 5-6; what the fuck is that all about?! God I swear if there were no consequences I'd push these people out of the way.....Connected to this my second hate is....

2. Umbrella Idiots
Why do so many people not realise that when they have have umbrellas as they walk they are about double the size they normally are? Swear to god the amount of times I've been hit in the face by some moron carrying an umbrella it isn't even funny....just get wet for fucks sake. It's Scotland - nobody gives a fuck if you hair looks wet.

3. Mobiles whilst Driving
I'd say about 95% of times I see someone chatting on their mobile phone whilst driving that person in question possess a vagina and two breasts. I'm not sure why I find it so annoying. I think it's the arrogance some people think that they are good enough at driving that they don't have to concentrate on it too much, however more often than not these women are shit drivers. It's not hard to use a hands-free kit. I bought one for £9 ffs! If I ever get hit by some retard on a mobile phone I'll shove that phone where the sun don't shine.

4. Chuggers
Those charity mugging twats who strategically position themselves up and down streets so you have to do a people slalom to avoid them. And why the hell do you feel guilty for saying no to them? They're getting paid to stop and harass people! The worse ones are the ones who try to be funny and pal-ish with you: "Hi buddy, I don't want to ask you for money, I just want a second of your time" (both of which turn out to be a lie. Seriously leave me alone. I give to charity and don't need some dread-locked reprobate in kagool to ask me. Seriously you embody everything that is wrong with the modern world and I wish ill upon you.

5. Two-Faced People
Fair enough most people are not fans of two-faced people however the ones I am talking about are the ones who are all sweetness and light to everyone yet underneath are scheming lil arses. Have a back-bone for fucks sake. I find two-faced people extremely easy to see through and can spot them a mile off. Eventually these people always gets found out and people with enough sense don't fall for their shit but some gullible folks will fall for it, more fool them. End of the day though these people have to live with themselves.

6. Jamie Oliver
Just why?

Seriously.....why does he exist?
If he isn't plugging a shit supermarket he is trying to adopt a new 'challenge' where he will change the world through his cooking. What a load of wank.
Let kids eat what they want to eat - if they get fat so be it. Stop being so middle of the road, you boring big-lipped tosser.

7. Jordan
I used to like her....what the fuck was I thinking.
I hate this Kerry Katona style of celebrity life where desperate oxygen thieves shamelessly throw every aspect of their lives to the tabloids and tv shows only to then act as if they are being hounded and the big bad media is after them. You reap what you sow.
Since this split from Peter Andre (I never thought I'd respect that man) she has seemed to gone on this binge of booze and clubs and crave publicity and feeding sob-stories to the press she constantly mocks.
She embodies everything that is horrible and cheap about today's Heat-magazine enriched world. Where celebrity is a passing fad from person to person and someone like Jordan is someone to be aspired to be like.

8. Morons who go on the X-Factor
Having worked on the show I view the whole show very cynically. You have to see how manufactured the show is to believe it. The producers know exactly what they are doing. They tease these horrible sob-stories where dead brothers and dying kids become a reason to try to get through to boot-camp.
However what is worse than the producers who use these people like actors in a play are the morons who allow themselves to be used. What are you thinking? You know you are not a good singer. You know you are going to be publicly ridiculed and embarrass yourself in front of the nation. The only reason shows like X-Factor keep doing so well is that because Britain is full of these morons. If people stopped going to these shows for the 15mins of fame the shows would stop getting made. It's a vicious circle.

9. I can't count.
Yeah I know this is only 9. I dont care.

I'm off to watch the X-Factor.

1 comment:

  1. I know what you mean about using your mobile whilst driving... usually I'm too drunk to even dial a number when I'm in the car, and I think it's just rude for other people to rub it in that they can talk on the phone when I can't...