Sunday, 28 June 2009

Wear Sunscreen

How are you?
You good?
Sitting Comfortably?

Then I shall begin.

Gonna warn you from the outset though that this is one of the more "emo" and "angsty" entries so if you're not up to it I'll understand if you leave now {pauses for people to click the "back" button, type in a new url or simply smash up their computers at the thought of angsty Chris}

Ok don't say I didn't warn you....

So, me, Chris. Since university I have made the conscious effort to be an open person - not to hide feelings and to say what I think (usually unless it is at work or around neds....) and I do believe it is the best way to live. People are more responsive to open people, you know where you stand with them, you know what they think about you and it in turn encourages you to be open when dealing with them.
It's vital to be open and honest with friends - otherwise what's the point? Lies and deceit are no basis for friendships or relationships.

The biggest problem that comes from being an open person however is that you leave yourself open to be let down lied to and made to look stupid - it's a pretty big risk but I believe it is worth it because ultimately feelings heal and if you are an open honest person you'll have people around you that you can rely on and turn to when you've been let down.
Yes you may have been stupid to be so open but ultimately the shame is not on the person who has been made to look stupid but on the person who has abused the character.

This then leads to the question as to why some people treat others the way they do? Are they selfish? Are they cowards? Are they scared?
It probably boils down to several different character traits - none of which are necessarily irredeemable nor may they be true reflections on the person who has them. People are often just victims of the circumstances and the times they find themselves in. Unusual situations can cause people to do things they didn't think they could or be people they didn't think they could be.

However despite this it is important to believe in the power of forgiveness and change. As they say in the film American History X: "Hate is baggage". This is one of the truest quotes to ever come from the world of film I think.....well that and "Old age. It's the only disease, Mr. Thompson, that you don't look forward to being cured of." (Citizen Kane). To err is human, to forgive, devine.
It is important to understand things from all sides of the argument. To understand the difficult situations people find themselves in which make them act the way they do. This understanding in turn leads to acceptance.

It is probably important for me to point out here that despite this preachy tone I am not above the sort of person who in the past has hurt people and been selfish and reckless with people's feelings.
However I have stated many times how important friendships are to me and friendships are nothing without trust. Life, if nothing else, is a great lesson on humanity's capacity for compassion and understanding. Teaching us how as people we are merely organisms who have created a community where we interact and crash into one another, before dissapearing in the flash of light that is our lives - relatively short in the grand scheme of things.

On this note it brings me to my conclusion....
Life is short. Too short not to enjoy it or put up with other who abuse yours. A famous speech says: "Don't be reckless with people's hearts, but don't put up with people who are reckless with yours".
Amen to that.

Apologise if this has been vague in content and a bit philiosophical and wanky - however at least I have the presence of mind to appreciate when I am being wanky!

Until next moral dilema....

Over n Oot!

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Thinking About Tomorrow....

Ok so I'm back.

Like properly back.

Like back home - where it all between Edinburgh and Glasgow - when friends will allow me to crash on their couch until I can find permanent residence.

But before I can find permanent residence I kinda need to find some sort of (semi) permanent work.

This is a problem in itself as regular work in television isn't easy to come by. In fact if you work on a production it is pretty much unheard of. But, you know, I'll see what I kind find.

I go between different emotions and feelings at the moment. First off I am VERY pleased to be back and back permanently this time. It was such a good feeling walking down Princess Street on Tuesday on my way to meet my mates in St Andrews Square on a lovely summer day and walking adjacent to Edinburgh castle (see attached video for a reconstruction)- you can't buy those moments - well you could for the cost of a plane ticket or the £50 in diesel it cost me to drive back!
However from those feelings of happiness being back in familiar, friendlier surroundings I tend to go to a "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING YOU'RE UNEMPLOYED - FIND WORK AHHHHHH!!!!!" feelings.

My original plan was to take a few weeks off doing nothing much at all, not even looking for work. I had a romantic idea of school holidays in my head where me and my friends would hang out in D'Mains park and play footy and then heading to Glasgow to drink in Kelvingrove park, hiding our tins of lager from the police as they stroll by. Of course most of my friends have jobs etc so there is a danger that if I stick to my current plans the only friends I'll be hanging out with during the day are Jeremy Kyle and Trishia - and that would be awful, I fell out with Jeremy when I failed my paternity test....

So now I have itchy feet and started to wonder why I was planning on hanging around doing nothing. My problem is that I am easily bored. So I reckon I'll try to find work sooner rather than later now. Even if it is shitty bar work in Edinburgh in the mean-time just to keep me busy and not eat into the cash I have been lucky enough to save whilst working on Secret Diary.

That said I've only been back for 2 days now so I'll leave the job hunting and script writing till next week - time to relax. However once I have relaxed - IT'S ON!!!!

There is still a chance I might pack my bags and travel somewhere nice like Australia - however I'm not sure if it's for me - I'm not very good round people I don't know - I tend to crawl into a ball and cry when someone I don't know strikes up a conversation with me.

All else aside I do feel like this is a new start, and I instantly felt happier when I crossed the border back home - it was a sign that this was the right choice - London seems year away.

As for next week - it's time to start planning for the future....I was only young once and now I'm middle aged I need to settle down - well at least start working somewhere anyway!

Over n Oot.

P.S. - I hope people are appreciating the new up-beat tone!
P.P.S - I am writing this from Offshore Cafe in Glasgow - how cool is that!!!

Saturday, 20 June 2009

Next Chapter

So this is my last weekend in London (for the mean time anyway) and it's funny looking back.

Part of me feels I've been here for ages but then another part of me feels like I only just got here. It'll be interesting how the time I've spent here will fit into my life overall as I look back at it.

There are a lot of things here I am very thankful for. I've been lucky enough to do a job that I've enjoyed (for most of the time anyway) and I'm very proud to have worked on Secret Diary and looking forward to it airing (ITV2 this Autumn - stay tuned guys!)

The biggest things for me now as I prepare to move back is the sense that I am a little scared of moving back.

It's almost as if I'm starting again and it is a bit of a gamble - I would be able to find work in London within a couple of weeks - whereas Scotland is a bit of an unknown quantity. I could find work relatively quickly but I suspect it'll take a couple of months at least. I have a feeling I am going to go out of my mind with boredom. As a result I am compiling a list of things I want to do while I have spare time and a small amount of spare cash.

- Do a stand-up comedy routine. Probably at the Stand in Glasgow.
- Get a tattoo - inspired by Tom McRae.
- Go to France - to visit Angus at his Vineyard.
- Start running - like long-distance jogging.
- Make another short film - I've been working on a script about a prostitute, I've obviously got them on the brain now!

As well as being a bit scared though I am also quite excited. I'm excited about rekindling old friendships and spending the summer doing the things I couldn't do whilst in London like hang out in Kelvingrove park drinking cider or having BBQ on the banks of Loch Lomond. Those are the reasons I made the decision to come home and I'm going to love every second of it.

Work-wise only time will tell. I don't want to give up working in TV and hopefully I wont have to as things are getting better in terms of programmes being made in Scotland. Then again if I can't find TV work I'm sure I can find something else which will make me happy. The plan is to move to Edinburgh for a short while as i look for work then to move to Glasgow - hopefully to the flat on Sauchiehall St, failing that somewhere else.

Only time will tell....only time will tell - sounds like a great life-philosophy, I feel like a passenger at the moment not really in control but at least I'm happy.

Over and Ooot

Monday, 1 June 2009

Dear London, it's not you, it's me.

Man preaching at Speaker's corner, Hyde Park

Ok, so it's been pointed out by pretty much everyone who has read this blog that I appear to be a depressing and near suicidal recluse.

I should maybe point out - that I am not depressing nor nowhere near suicidal (though part of my life plan is to die at the age of 53 in a hotel room with two hookers and loads of cocaine so that could be classed as planning my death in some way.)

Thanks for your concern though and as it's sunny outside and we are approaching summer I thought I should at long last not only update my blog but also in a shocking move that is completely out of character, write something that isn't depressing. Even more amazing is I'm going to focus on what I actually like about here goes:

Borough Market:
This is without doubt my favourite place in London. It's a massive food market and although it
can get really busy it's always full of amazing stalls and free samples. What's even better is that you can buy some nice finger food then go down to the South Bank and eat AND there is an awesome beer and ale stall where they do wicked drinks. I once spent £100 in one afternoon making what I called the Borough Market pizza which consisted of really good ingredients including clams, mozzarella, prawns was not money wasted! I remember one day going there on a Sunny Saturday with Nicky, James, Shona and Rory - awesome banter - especially the sausage rolls we had at the start - mmmm.
If you haven't been to Borough Market I recommend you go!

Clifford Park:
I only went here for the first time on the Saturday just passed and it isn't anything specificallysummer's day with activity to go to their nearest park with some beers, some music and most importantly some friends and just relax and forget about work. I enjoyed Saturday - it was nice!

Speaker's Corner:
Speaker's Corner is an area in Hyde Park where every Sunday morning people gather to preach, lecture or just vent their spleens on any topic they want. The result is a diverse range of orators some spouting worthwhile lessons on life, some preaching hatred of other races and cultures, others just talking jibberish. Whatever you think of the people talking though I like this place as it is a testament to the fact that we are lucky enough to live in a country where people are allowed to take a stance against anything they like whether it be political, religious or sexual movements (I once saw one guy give a talk on how men should be allowed to rape glamour models - I wasn't utterly convinced but found it amusing all the same). I'd suggest going along there just once and take a morning listening to what some people have to say on the state of our world - even if what they're saying isn't something you agree with you have to admire them for having the balls to say it....

So I guess there are some things in London which I will miss.

On top of these places I will miss, already miss in fact, drinking with the Tiger Aspect crew after work. I remember hitting the Brick Layer's arms on a regular basis getting boozed up on cheap beer then falling asleep on the bus home - if I were lucky enough it would be the right bus, on most occasions though it wasn't!
On this note Dom and Rachael asked me to give them a name check in my blog so here it goes....

Dominic Martin
Rachael Ellis.

It was fun hanging out with folks you can bitch about work with - it doesn't happen so much when you're on production.

On a final note I am looking forward to the summer, it's my favourite time of the year. Not only is my birthday in the summer but it's the time of the year which is rife with Bar-B-Qs, outside drinking, holidays, festivals etc.
More than anything I am looking forward to returning home - I've missed it, London doesn't hold a torch to Scotland.

Over n Oot.